While the Angry Earth Growls Beneath my Feet

Auditory Visions as a youth,

early morning dawn where sun greets this fiery lake,

a day (or was it, days), of skipping school leading to a barren wilderness of pre-mature philosophical truths,

while the angry earth growls beneath my feet,

I walk on in later years upon the “black ice” of the day

and rising where there remained water none and only a stifling vapor of fossil fuels reaching nostril and air.

I remember the year: it was 1980!

They say a poet writes from his suffering,

and truth stirs within me,

among the bones and dusty earth,

an atomic flash,

a state of awe,

prickly cacti and

a roadrunner nipping at every attack from the rattler.

Mile upon mile of dirt, asphalt, and dusty roads I walk,

A normal summer day in South Texas.

Hearing my head speak

The same old relinquished thoughts of sorrow, grief,

And the pain, oh! the pain,

Where liberation was no where in sight.

Acceptance and cooperation

Surely would have turned this gamut to blue skies.

I was obstinate in my vision of life eating away at my being.

Wasting away, she said, and I understood not.

And, now I do.

But, as time would have it,

Healing sank in,

Medication regimen and love

Altered the will of my own to

Something far deeper.

And still I struggled, depth upon depth,

Until one night I saw her,

Reaching out to take my hand

In the form of Christ.


Author / Poet – John G Evans

We shall all come to know a ‘dark night’ of our souls. The path to esoterica illumination originates by the divine will of God as well as cooperation of the soul. Is there an Omega Point of God and human soul we may call thin places, and is this what Pierre Teilhard de Chardin was aspiring to illuminate? My positioning in direct relationship to this argument originates to when I was a young teen in the late sixties madly in love with Jesus Christ and His Blessed Mother. It was during this era I began to witness signs. The signs are not to be dwelt upon but a clear remembrance as to how one gets from point A to point B, and exclusively to the Omega Point, or theoretically these ‘thin places’ within the paradoxical dimension we live in. This thesis will demonstrate in lieu of experience imperatives to spiritual bliss, thin places, or the Omega Point relationally to our own lives. We are not required to live saintly lives to testify to the authenticity of witness to the phenomenon of a spiritual ecstasy. I believe it is possible to commune with God (on God’s own timing), through ignorance as opposed to a saintly life, but both are possible. This is what I purposefully intend to write about and to prove. God has created humanity to fellowship and commune with Himself. This is paradoxically a way of life for many people in Tibetan Buddhist communities, Christian monasteries, Sufism communities (especially among many women Sufis), Kabbalah and the Jewish communities, Native America Spirituality (Human Beings), and Hindu mystical communities, whereby all are called mystics.

There is a place I go inside my heart I call the ‘gateway’. The gateway is where thin places of heart and soul fuse and I believe is the Omega Point Jesuit Priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin was in search of during his life within the cosmos and the geographical earth; thin places, where heaven and earth merge. These thin places are of heart and soul where the God of the Most – High communes with his children, earthly inhabitants who love Him through a reciprocal love of divinity and cooperation with His divine plan of salvation, and love for all mankind.

This incarnational love amalgamates with the Resurrected Christ within the heart and soul for two who are joined in body and heart, the soul delivers us from our unattended egos to a heartfelt, purely, divine, spiritual ecstasy known only by few. This is where heaven and earth shall meet; almost where the word incantation, a Latin word meaning “to consecrate with charms or spells,” (Hirsch, 2014, p. 303), only, I have been in a holy trance from the Omnipresent of God’s Divine will, where, one may conceivably feel it to be a spell. I am not qualified to say yes or no, but a narrator of my own life. Upon, the lifting of the mists of my own ego shall I come to realize the imperative for love, but, enter reverently and mystically into love.

I have discovered the mists from our own mind’s camouflages our truths. These esoteric gateways have become lost by the arrogant thoughts of men, and I do reiterate men because women rarely are concerned with the cloudiness of chauvinistic thought. Women, as our Blessed Mother Mary through her incarnational experience with the Holy Spirit demonstrated that by: (Donal H. Calloway, 2005, p. 65),

“being taken into the mystery of the incarnation she witnesses to the concreteness of Christ’s incarnation against rationalistic and ideological tendencies.” [i]

John Paul II asked women within the global society to “reconcile people with life.” To John Paul II women and “motherhood involves a special communion with the mystery of life, as it develops in the woman’s womb. The mother is filled with wonder at this mystery of life and ‘understands’ with unique intuition what is happening inside her. In the ‘light of the beginning’ the mother accepts and loves as a person the child she is carrying in the womb. This new contact with the new human being developing within her gives rise to an attitude towards human beings not only towards her own child but every human being, which profoundly marks the woman’s personality.” [ii]

For man, he should be aware the womb to be sacred as well as the gateway, thus, enter quietly, reverently, and mystically, and you shall rise to meet God’s glory and your bliss.

Copyright Notice

© John G Evans 1998 – 2019.

Unauthorized and/or duplication of this material without

Express and written permission from this site’s author/poet/photographer

Is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used,

Provided that a full and clear credit is rendered to John G Evans

and to his subsequent site with appropriate and specific direction to the

original content.

[i] Kentenich, Marianische Werkzeugfromigkeit, 65.

[i] John Paul II, Mulieris Dignitatem (August 15, 1988), 18: AAS 80 (1988), 1696.

The Violinist

Judith C Evans – Violinist

The concerto begins as she lifts her bow and resting her stringed instrument gently across her neck & shoulder. The notes begin slowly as one sweet note after another in an even tempo. By her lead others slowly discover their own way into the melody and create song within a beautiful harmony. No words are spoken. The audience listens as each rising and lowering of the bow speak for itself. My heart fills with enchantment. My ears hear the strings speak, each as if to say draw me in. Draw me in further and further whereby my heart and soul shall follow. Music thus created. Ecstasy begins to mount. She delivers as she promised in a single yet repetitive refrain leading her spectators in a breathless momentum. Once drawn, the orgiastic blend of melody reverberates this somewhat eluding and esoteric mystery into a union of souls, collectively, into her own. As the sonata melds to symphony a work of art has been created born of an evening for this masterpiece to breed only of her own. Enchantment rises to its orgiastic moment of bliss. The concerto now breathing within all hearts speaks only one word to compliment the Violinist:

Bravo! Yet the crowd speaks. Bring on the encore. But no reprise is within earshot. The Violinist seeks only to soften the melody into the night of many wonders where love was made…melding of note, and melody, and of refrain.

In/Out of Focus

Sometimes, I simply frown when I can’t hit the mark on focusing on the nearest eye to the camera. Flash was great. Moved the Godox modifier close, then further away. The second silver reflector to the right of camera moved back about 6 foot from my model Judith C Evans. One thing I must admit, the 85mm 1.2 is so heavy I have to sit and rest my elbows on a small table. WE are going to shoot some more images later, today. Comments welcome good people.

Morning Tea brings a Rejoiceful Sound of Liberation

John G Evans c 2019

A tall glass of flavorful tea, memories of mine have always enriched me, made me stronger in the early morning, almost fall-like breeze.

A few notes from I Am: The Tiny Mustard Seed:

So, where is home? Home is where the dust cries in a foreign land, as we all shall come to know the bitterness of exile.

And yet, where is this home?

It is inside the mustard seed where only the dying can see.

Transformed by heart –

If we are to poeticize these inkwells with our altruistic art we must become the pen upon this page of forceful doubts.

Only then, and upon a season of Advent shall we come to light this legendary candle of hope.

Photographing Sharper Images

Photographic Notes –

What I have learned to photograph sharper images and to calibrate for web or print:

I keep my shutter speed at 1/125 or above but rarely release my shutter more than 1/200. My personal preference is to have a dark background and these shutter speeds maintain the integrity of the work I aspire to create.

My aperture presently with a single individual within the frame I have set for f/4.0 but can go a bit lower for more focus power or depth of field. The lower the f/no. the more people or territory will be in focus.

My single focus point is set in the menu under Autofocus (Nikon), at AF-S. For faster shots use AF-C. I focus with the single focus point on the eye nearest the camera.

My ISO I typically leave between 100-200.

WB = studio…flash

WB = outdoors…settings, proper

sRGB for smaller or non-gamut monitors

Adobe RGB for calibrated, wide gamut monitors up to 30%

For lab color space issues (I am always learning this topic), monitor calibration is a must. In the photography business calibration is a must, especially when printing, also.

As I learn more I shall share more.

This Present Moment –

John G Evans c 2019

A Measure of Peace to Live Within This Present Moment –

Ancestral shadows lay at my heels ready to strike in an instant though for a moment have held their peace.

Granted, the love remains within a charitable heart. I am here. You are here. Let us come to know when to lay down our arms.

I know I am nothing but a powdery dust crawling upon a rocky earth. Fear is in my heart. My thoughts remain congested of a polluted world contaminated by the ungodliness of our ways.

I am in exile. This land remains unseen by flesh, or rock, or earth, and for any kind of matter where I may lay, and rest, and be found, alive to all my senses, where my teachers are not of this earth, but, within a very special bliss known only by saints, mystics, and peoples of God.

This bliss welcomes all but draws only the few. I hope you shall discover this place of bliss, ecstasy, with a renewed sense of peace. I know I shall.

I go here as red warriors swarm my essence. And, I recall the days of miracles and I revisit the essence of awe.

Peace overwhelms me in a land where voices are only heard in silence.

I sleep in peace until the next visit.

Because, this present moment converts my measure of peace into nothing more.

Freedom befalls me.


Words & Steely Knives

My Life Turned Around:

Words and Steely Knives

Have you heard:

“And they will defile My secret place; For robbers shall enter it and defile it.”

                                                                                                                        Ezekiel 7: 22

These steely knives meant to slice through the anger of the spoken word, vehement by nature as on a cutting board of hardened bamboo and the severity of salt inflicted upon these fleshly wounds? I remain tortured from the hidden bones of yesteryears. These bones broken of sticks and stones where words continue to traumatize me. Throughout all my sensitivities I lay dormant as a fish out of water. The perpetuation of anger rises through this global community of sacrifices known now by all mankind. I weep. I continue within my trail of tears and fears throughout this valley of injury. Pain becomes a nightly visitor. Days, too. I cry into the fiery dawn of burnt-orange skies and into the netherworld of far-a-way dreams. Dreams that never were except through the damaged memories of a child neglected by his peers. Vehemence you say? Violence, per se? well the challenge of the day has been to survive the selfish and careless acts of others. Yet, to be able to sludge onward despite their desolate means that slice through the anger of the spoken word, shameful by nature, as on a cutting board of hardened bamboo and the severity of salt inflicted upon these fleshly wounds.

Turning it around Within my Own Mind:

We must choose to live by our God and his timing, but this can be a difficult thing. I know from this violent past the transformation is a beautiful thing. Initially, as I begin to ponder, I know my thoughts that I think essentially are meant to be nothing. My thoughts can only harm me when I judge others or myself. To lay in judgement it seems is to judge my very essence of who I am. Judgement is a very dangerous thing, and yet, the thought of it means nothing.

Lately, I fear, of also which is rivalry with God, and (futile), my hollow and empty thoughts are pointless. A digging downward into an empty pit of nothingness demonstrating a world of vanity. I become agitated by a world I recognize as pointless and vain. However, the goodness of it all lay in the truth that has been set before us. To engage in a world that we see as worthless confines us to a rivalry, opposition, and perpetual struggle with God. As Jacob wrestled with the angel we also, wrestle with God through our thoughts. These thoughts are thus transformed into fear. Fear controls us. And then we become lost for everything God created is good. Therefore, the fear we live with is a measure of our own minds, and therefore, lay the enmity.

My thoughts are a funny thing (not to be construed as humorous). Everything witnessed by me shall be truth or illusion. I have come to know illusion rather well. But this too is vain thinking. “Thoughts that are true create their own likeness. Those that are false make theirs.” [1] One point that hashelped facilitate healing has been I have been determined to search out truth throughout a forty – year drought. For me, this is the only way. Many truths I’ve experienced have enlightened me. Many illusions I succumbed to destroyed me. All in all, the healing faith of the words ‘I Believe’ has sustained me. Mercy has guided me. Once I became infused within the depths of Mercy, I discovered more than I could share. As I began to write spiritual dictations in poetics I learned. I was aware of more than I could imagine. Faith healed me. Obedience set me upon a new path. I not only survived but have thrived. God is Goodness himself. This I discovered to be truth. Any thoughts aside from this truth is illusion and therefore does not exist for illusion is not of God. God did not create an illusory world.

In summation, I conclude belief in a God of Love and Mercy is all I require to defeat all my fears, rampant and ruminating thoughts, actions, and a delusional thought system. And, for me, this is what my life has rendered me: to desire to know God on a personal and humanistic level demonstrating he is Real. Real enough to reach out and hold onto my left shoulder to keep me from jumping over the edge onto the face of razors. I made it through the storms. Thank and praise God Almighty I made it through the storms. My hopes are that I have helped someone escape the dangers of illusive thinking.

If you require support, please call the Suicide Prevention Line at 1–800–273–8255.

[1] A Course in Miracles. Foundation for Inner Peace. Third Edition, 2007. Mill Valley. Print.

The Face of Trauma

The Fears & Nightmares of it all Happening Again

Trauma is covert. Covert is hidden. Hidden can be Impossible to Detect.

Remaining weary, yet gaining a new strength, the time has arrived to defeat this demonic beast. My day of reckoning is near. Love must abide within the shadows of my heart. I sense momentum. What fears or nightmares steep within the subconscious that may come to rise to greet me in the depths of consciousness?

The incurable malady awaits its turn to speak. Speak it shall. A new dawn must arise. Christ be still. This world awaits your will.

Peace on earth, and in my thoughts. Goodwill towards men.