The Kingdom of God has Always Been with Me

An Acknowledgment to Ezra Sullivan, O.P.


John Gregory Evans

Poet & Observer of the Interior Life

A Perspective of Ezra Sullivan’s

Seek First the Kingdom:

A Reply to Germain Grisez’s Account of Man’s Ultimate End

They [separated souls who die in Christ] see the divine essence with an intuitive vision and even face to face, without having any mediating creature as an object of vision, yet the divine essence reveals to them simply, openly, and clearly; thus seeing, each has the full enjoyment of the same divine essence, and indeed, by reason of such a vision and enjoyment of their souls, those who are now departed, are truly beatified and have eternal life and rest (Ezra Sullivan).

“The divine essence with an intuitive vision” helps me to recall occurrences where upon this divine essence appeared with [locutions and visionary] vison, both hearing and seeing Presence, knowing mysteriously and intuitively something was happening. During these days and nights that were so distressing for me I found comfort knowing somehow God must have been with me but also, I was living within the Kingdom of God, even if but momentarily.

The encounters that have occurred since 1969 till the present all have had a significant impact upon my faith and vision for a new life. This new life, characterized by powerful interior analytic thinking for the divine essence within each soul’s imprint, surrounded by a global community of people, each struggling for a meaningful relationship with the divine mystery of Christ, galvanizes my own faith, even among the shadows of life.

From a thundering voice from within calling me by name [twice] flashes of what appeared interior as atomic light, my cupped rosary lighting up twice, a strong hand touching my left shoulder as I readied myself to jump face first onto a bed of razors [figuratively, with an ideation for dying] placed within the induced comatic ventilator for many days with severe double-pneumonia, rosary at the foot of my bed and seeing a light of golden azure upon the eyes of my soul witnessing a beautiful woman holding my body’s hand, raising her hand to my lips and kissing her hand [realistically, my arms and hands were tied down] where upon this moment I awoke in an ICU unit. I believe I was given another [yet, another] chance at not just life, but the abundant life of gratitude.

God is so Good! But, without man aspiring to live today within his Kingdom he has promised us, we live in ignorance, vanity, and arrogance, all of us.


Ezra Sullivan, O.P. “Seek First the Kingdom: A Reply to Germain Grisez’s Account of Man’s Ultimate End.” n.d. n.d. 2010. Web. 16 March 2020.

Running, Still?

John G Evans

Chastisement of fire from the skies are of the intuitive dire reality this world must face, as the oppressor runs from himself to be hid from the presence of God’s Holy Face. I can witness oppression coming from within. This oppression I speak of continues to run where the sins of humanity’s character struggles with the fiery flames of conscience. The humanity factor, oppressive by state, in being already One with our God, we witness this wall of tonalities that carries forth the true indigenous flag of freedom’s new choice, a freedom for all, a freedom of peace carried forth by the poor in spirit, the poor of the earth.

Change (conversion), enters the heart, often through doors unseen. This mystical reality fed with hearts through a true intimacy. This rare gem of conversion and union in Christ, only, seems foolish to some, the truly oppressed, simply because they choose not to see, but through the love of another bonded in Christ, selfless love shared renders a quality of love measured by faith, trust, and a rare kind of integrity.

The heart, yes, a mysterious place…where battles are lost, and battles are won…but the truest of all seems to be the indigenous ones. A brother to all, a comrade in hope, we envision a peace, of love and of calm, yet courage strikes fierce when we are torn apart. This uncovered new land lay in wait for the multitudes of angels and a land of gentle giants, an invitation to a concept for a sacred reality of conscience where a new witness is born from out of the ashes of our spiritual DNA. We are all furtively related in kindness and in hope, but behold the soldiers of Christ and angels of God fear not the adversary of arrogance be gone.

In silence we are called to listen and hear of the voices from inside this place for a cryptic new sense; simple and strong, with courage to speak words of chastisement, words of the meek. A man of wisdom, a man of such strength, carries forth a tradition for a fruit – bearing faith. So, carry on my new angel of peace, with your words that have comforted me, cured me to seek, a brotherhood for all men as the Lamb and His sheep.

A Deep, Spiritual Silence Colored a Reddish Orange

John G. Evans

2/25/2020 2:41:36 AM

Alone, with nothing to shield me but the darkness. A deep, spiritual silence. Vulnerable. Nothing to hide me but the depths of an interior prayer. I am in a solitary moment of depth within myself.  Gutted so deeply I hear the voice of my heart. This imploration for a reverent holiness that led me to my angelic visitor. Presence! My heart listens to the stillness of peace. He is with me. A light in the blackness. This depth of silence is frightening! And, still, I listen to the void. So, what does it tell me?

The candle is lit as a war-time flare. The flashbacks become a fierce reality all the way back to ’72. Tracers every third round lit up the midnight sky. A crossfire of M-60’s made the darkness a reddish-orange, paths of golden light made you aware of the power created by this war-time era. Power. So much power! All the while the accretion of gunpowder reeks the air. Even the night has been snuffed out by deadening silence as the orders to cease-fire have been given.

Who could survive such a barrage of gutted shells heading for unsuspecting targets? How would he feel once struck down breathing in his last breath? Or, was he simply snuffed out upon being hit? Why, the pain? Why, the suffering? Who’s to gain? A political advance, I presume. After all, communism was on the rise. And now in 2020 we trade, and even tour the ‘Nam’.

And then all becomes a little easier to catch one’s breath. We (Marines), have survived this field exercise and understand the paths we must partake. Our duty to God, flag and country go way back to an 18th century era. Our Declaration of Independence sustained. Praise to the heavens. Each morning we salute our red, white, and blue. Pride swells.

Back to my little room in ’79 and the silence that clashed with the past becomes a forty-eight-year ordeal. And now, aside from the onslaught of ideation all is quiet. Kneeling, I have discovered a peace as the memories seem to fade into a silvery smoke from the flash suppressor’s angry gaze. Yet, I survived. I was spared from the jungle’s, rice fields, and mountainous areas of the Southeast Asian Theater. Alive, I shall never forget the moments of fear. I shall not forget the courage one faces to stand against an unseen enemy. At times, the enemy can be so close that we may know who our adversary is. But, it all fades to a distant memory as the fear comes and goes. Rise! There remains a deep spiritual silence that feeds the hunger for an enduring brotherly love. Peace my friends. Peace.

Prairie, Idaho with my photographer friend Thom

While the Angry Earth Growls Beneath my Feet

Auditory Visions as a youth,

early morning dawn where sun greets this fiery lake,

a day (or was it, days), of skipping school leading to a barren wilderness of pre-mature philosophical truths,

while the angry earth growls beneath my feet,

I walk on in later years upon the “black ice” of the day

and rising where there remained water none and only a stifling vapor of fossil fuels reaching nostril and air.

I remember the year: it was 1980!

They say a poet writes from his suffering,

and truth stirs within me,

among the bones and dusty earth,

an atomic flash,

a state of awe,

prickly cacti and

a roadrunner nipping at every attack from the rattler.

Mile upon mile of dirt, asphalt, and dusty roads I walk,

A normal summer day in South Texas.

Hearing my head speak

The same old relinquished thoughts of sorrow, grief,

And the pain, oh! the pain,

Where liberation was no where in sight.

Acceptance and cooperation

Surely would have turned this gamut to blue skies.

I was obstinate in my vision of life eating away at my being.

Wasting away, she said, and I understood not.

And, now I do.

But, as time would have it,

Healing sank in,

Medication regimen and love

Altered the will of my own to

Something far deeper.

And still I struggled, depth upon depth,

Until one night I saw her,

Reaching out to take my hand

In the form of Christ.


Author / Poet – John G Evans

We shall all come to know a ‘dark night’ of our souls. The path to esoterica illumination originates by the divine will of God as well as cooperation of the soul. Is there an Omega Point of God and human soul we may call thin places, and is this what Pierre Teilhard de Chardin was aspiring to illuminate? My positioning in direct relationship to this argument originates to when I was a young teen in the late sixties madly in love with Jesus Christ and His Blessed Mother. It was during this era I began to witness signs. The signs are not to be dwelt upon but a clear remembrance as to how one gets from point A to point B, and exclusively to the Omega Point, or theoretically these ‘thin places’ within the paradoxical dimension we live in. This thesis will demonstrate in lieu of experience imperatives to spiritual bliss, thin places, or the Omega Point relationally to our own lives. We are not required to live saintly lives to testify to the authenticity of witness to the phenomenon of a spiritual ecstasy. I believe it is possible to commune with God (on God’s own timing), through ignorance as opposed to a saintly life, but both are possible. This is what I purposefully intend to write about and to prove. God has created humanity to fellowship and commune with Himself. This is paradoxically a way of life for many people in Tibetan Buddhist communities, Christian monasteries, Sufism communities (especially among many women Sufis), Kabbalah and the Jewish communities, Native America Spirituality (Human Beings), and Hindu mystical communities, whereby all are called mystics.

There is a place I go inside my heart I call the ‘gateway’. The gateway is where thin places of heart and soul fuse and I believe is the Omega Point Jesuit Priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin was in search of during his life within the cosmos and the geographical earth; thin places, where heaven and earth merge. These thin places are of heart and soul where the God of the Most – High communes with his children, earthly inhabitants who love Him through a reciprocal love of divinity and cooperation with His divine plan of salvation, and love for all mankind.

This incarnational love amalgamates with the Resurrected Christ within the heart and soul for two who are joined in body and heart, the soul delivers us from our unattended egos to a heartfelt, purely, divine, spiritual ecstasy known only by few. This is where heaven and earth shall meet; almost where the word incantation, a Latin word meaning “to consecrate with charms or spells,” (Hirsch, 2014, p. 303), only, I have been in a holy trance from the Omnipresent of God’s Divine will, where, one may conceivably feel it to be a spell. I am not qualified to say yes or no, but a narrator of my own life. Upon, the lifting of the mists of my own ego shall I come to realize the imperative for love, but, enter reverently and mystically into love.

I have discovered the mists from our own mind’s camouflages our truths. These esoteric gateways have become lost by the arrogant thoughts of men, and I do reiterate men because women rarely are concerned with the cloudiness of chauvinistic thought. Women, as our Blessed Mother Mary through her incarnational experience with the Holy Spirit demonstrated that by: (Donal H. Calloway, 2005, p. 65),

“being taken into the mystery of the incarnation she witnesses to the concreteness of Christ’s incarnation against rationalistic and ideological tendencies.” [i]

John Paul II asked women within the global society to “reconcile people with life.” To John Paul II women and “motherhood involves a special communion with the mystery of life, as it develops in the woman’s womb. The mother is filled with wonder at this mystery of life and ‘understands’ with unique intuition what is happening inside her. In the ‘light of the beginning’ the mother accepts and loves as a person the child she is carrying in the womb. This new contact with the new human being developing within her gives rise to an attitude towards human beings not only towards her own child but every human being, which profoundly marks the woman’s personality.” [ii]

For man, he should be aware the womb to be sacred as well as the gateway, thus, enter quietly, reverently, and mystically, and you shall rise to meet God’s glory and your bliss.

Copyright Notice

© John G Evans 1998 – 2019.

Unauthorized and/or duplication of this material without

Express and written permission from this site’s author/poet/photographer

Is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used,

Provided that a full and clear credit is rendered to John G Evans

and to his subsequent site with appropriate and specific direction to the

original content.

[i] Kentenich, Marianische Werkzeugfromigkeit, 65.

[i] John Paul II, Mulieris Dignitatem (August 15, 1988), 18: AAS 80 (1988), 1696.

The Violinist

Judith C Evans – Violinist

The concerto begins as she lifts her bow and resting her stringed instrument gently across her neck & shoulder. The notes begin slowly as one sweet note after another in an even tempo. By her lead others slowly discover their own way into the melody and create song within a beautiful harmony. No words are spoken. The audience listens as each rising and lowering of the bow speak for itself. My heart fills with enchantment. My ears hear the strings speak, each as if to say draw me in. Draw me in further and further whereby my heart and soul shall follow. Music thus created. Ecstasy begins to mount. She delivers as she promised in a single yet repetitive refrain leading her spectators in a breathless momentum. Once drawn, the orgiastic blend of melody reverberates this somewhat eluding and esoteric mystery into a union of souls, collectively, into her own. As the sonata melds to symphony a work of art has been created born of an evening for this masterpiece to breed only of her own. Enchantment rises to its orgiastic moment of bliss. The concerto now breathing within all hearts speaks only one word to compliment the Violinist:

Bravo! Yet the crowd speaks. Bring on the encore. But no reprise is within earshot. The Violinist seeks only to soften the melody into the night of many wonders where love was made…melding of note, and melody, and of refrain.

In/Out of Focus

Sometimes, I simply frown when I can’t hit the mark on focusing on the nearest eye to the camera. Flash was great. Moved the Godox modifier close, then further away. The second silver reflector to the right of camera moved back about 6 foot from my model Judith C Evans. One thing I must admit, the 85mm 1.2 is so heavy I have to sit and rest my elbows on a small table. WE are going to shoot some more images later, today. Comments welcome good people.

Morning Tea brings a Rejoiceful Sound of Liberation

John G Evans c 2019

A tall glass of flavorful tea, memories of mine have always enriched me, made me stronger in the early morning, almost fall-like breeze.

A few notes from I Am: The Tiny Mustard Seed:

So, where is home? Home is where the dust cries in a foreign land, as we all shall come to know the bitterness of exile.

And yet, where is this home?

It is inside the mustard seed where only the dying can see.

Transformed by heart –

If we are to poeticize these inkwells with our altruistic art we must become the pen upon this page of forceful doubts.

Only then, and upon a season of Advent shall we come to light this legendary candle of hope.

Photographing Sharper Images

Photographic Notes –

What I have learned to photograph sharper images and to calibrate for web or print:

I keep my shutter speed at 1/125 or above but rarely release my shutter more than 1/200. My personal preference is to have a dark background and these shutter speeds maintain the integrity of the work I aspire to create.

My aperture presently with a single individual within the frame I have set for f/4.0 but can go a bit lower for more focus power or depth of field. The lower the f/no. the more people or territory will be in focus.

My single focus point is set in the menu under Autofocus (Nikon), at AF-S. For faster shots use AF-C. I focus with the single focus point on the eye nearest the camera.

My ISO I typically leave between 100-200.

WB = studio…flash

WB = outdoors…settings, proper

sRGB for smaller or non-gamut monitors

Adobe RGB for calibrated, wide gamut monitors up to 30%

For lab color space issues (I am always learning this topic), monitor calibration is a must. In the photography business calibration is a must, especially when printing, also.

As I learn more I shall share more.