40 Days Plus

40 Days Plus

John Evans © 2019

The wilderness awaits my tentative presence. I am here. A reflective tenure. One minute before midnight. The room is black. Quiet pervades. I am still. The Word is near. Truth.

  • John Evans © 2019

Three Days to Wait, Ponder, Deliberate: Sunday – 3rd of March 2019 nearing 5:00 p.m.

My power drops to my knees. An easterly wind in the high mountain desert air as daytime leaves. Falling, dropping, body begins to slump down to the ground. Through my failings I breathe my last breath a slave. Breathing in I. Breathing out Am. Heart pounding. Beating to a quarterly sound. This shrub I have struggled to remove from the earth twenty years past has pained me to the brink of exhaustion. Pained to the outer edge of surrender. A freefall. Abandoned between I and the greatest of I Am.

In all this time, have I changed? Am I worthy enough to be called beggar, or do I remain fixated on other gods? The gods from an earthly dimensional realm? The ones who loathe my coming and going? Shall I attempt to touch his cloak? His face? His shame? His homelessness?

Recalling the forty years of loneliness, but have I learned? Or, am I yet to learn? Still? Hungry in heart for the fiery breath of Sinai’s Lord, a mystery to all who search for depth that arrives within the heart who smiles while entombed in pain. I writhe, and I struggle, and I realize I is too much for me to handle. There is one greater than I, and it is He or She who I search for. When…is upon me. When…becomes Now. When…becomes relational.

Published by John Gregory Evans

Poetry is truth as we share our words that express our stories. I have been writing poetry over twenty years and have been published within many venues, including two books of mine. As poets we speak our truths and become known by our words. If you are a poet...keep writing. There remains joy and love in the solace of the written word.

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